Bruised but not broken

In the past year, I've experienced many disappointment and heartbroken. I've never been in such a low point in life before. There was a time when I felt terribly frustrated, felt useless and exploited, nobody understood me and stood by me, and the world was about to end. Of course it turned out that I'm still alive and kicking today, like Joss Stone's song said "bruised but not broken".

My friends said I was amazingly strong, but I don't really agree with that. They just never see me sobbing, crying and wailing, until the pain gripping my chest and I can't breathe. They can't see how my heart bleed inside, even the most potent painkiller can't heal the wound. They don't know that sometimes I wish I never open my eyes again in the morning, so I don't have to deal with disappointment and feel the pain anymore.

There's a say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". It's overly used, I know, but there's still a grain of salt in it. Well, I would rather say I've actually become immune, not really stronger. When someone stood me up, I just thought, oh well, the person might have something more urgent to do. When people don't appreciate what I've done, I don't want to agonise myself over the situation. Most of the time, though, I try not to think about it. Just forget it and continue living. So when it happens again today, I just give my sweetest smile and say, "That's ok. I really appreciate your help".

I guess I just refuse to be crushed into pieces, to give up my life and feel sorry for myself. I might be bruised, but not broken.

Been alot that I've been through
I cried a tear a time or two
Baby, you know I cried some over you, yeah
Had my heart kicked to the ground
Love ripped me up and tore me down, baby

But that ain't enough to break me
Cuz I'll rise above it
And I'll pick myself up
And I'll dust the pain off my heart

And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken

Been alot of tears stained nights
I thought the tears were here for life, baby
The hurt came on and held on tight, yeah
Took a chance, I took a fall
Love broke my heart and shattered all my dreams
But I won't be down on my knees
Cuz I'll rise above itAnd I'll pick myself up
And I'll shake the rain out of my heart

And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken

Gonna pick my heart up
Take my life back
Shake the hurt away
Pull myself together, put the pieces back in place
I learned love's so hard
Love left my soul scarred
I was shattered inside

And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken

(Joss Stone, Bruised but Not Broken)